Umme Rabiba
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| Photo of Syed Sajjad Hussain Zaidi with Wife Bibi Hajja Umme Rabiba (1953) |
My name is Dr. Nusrat Jahan, and I would like to share something about my mother, Umme Rabiba—whom we, her children, affectionately called “Amma.” Before I begin, I want to explain why I am writing this. While we often commemorate notable personalities, countless individuals like my mother, who form the backbone of society, are rarely remembered in writing. Through this page, I hope my future generations and anyone interested in knowing her will find a portrait of her life and contributions, ensuring that she and her legacy are not forgotten.
My mother’s name was Umme Rabiba, whom all of us siblings used to call “Amma.” Amma’s mother, my maternal grandmother, was named Umme Farwa. Amma’s father—my maternal grandfather—was Mukhtar Ahmad, who worked as a Stamp Reporter by profession. Amma was one of five siblings—three brothers (Anwarul Hasan, Zafirul Hasan, and Wajihul Hasan) and two sisters, including my aunt Kaniz Batool (fondly called Kanju). Over the years, all three of Amma’s brothers and her sister’s husband, Musharraf Hussain (originally from Bhikpur, Bihar, India), migrated to Pakistan. Amma was the only sibling who remained in India.
Even though I don’t want to use the past tense for her name—because she is alive in my memories—every single day she appears in my thoughts and revives those past moments of life with her before leaving again. Amma’s personality was such that people could not help but be influenced by her. She was tall, had a resonant voice, and her presence could captivate anyone. She was very responsible in whatever task she took on, and whatever work she did was done to perfection.
Amma wanted to study, but in her era, it was not customary for girls to receive much formal education. She therefore only received a basic home education. She learned the Quran from a great scholar (Maulana) from Pali, Jehanabad, Bihar, India. She recited the Quran with great fluency and would occasionally also reflect on its meaning. She taught all of us siblings the Quran.
Amma was very intelligent. My elder brother, Irshad Hussain, whom we call “Kemu Bhai,” says that he taught Amma a bit of Hindi. She would then read Hindi bit by bit with enthusiasm.
I don’t know exactly what year she was born, but we know she was married in 1953, when she was about 18 or 19 years old. At that time, reaching 18 years of age was considered a mature age for a girl.
Amma told me that when she was about 12 or 13, her own mother (my grandmother) passed away. Her Mother’s name was Umme Farwa. Amma’s parents were quite well off. Sir Sulatn’s wife who was then called ‘Lady Sahab’ was her mother’s aunt. She use to really like my mother and her siblings like her own children. Frequently she use to send baskets of gifts to my mother.
After Amma’s mother’s ( my maternal grandmother) death, Amma had to go to her paternal home in Firozi, which was not very distant from Pali. In those days, women traveled to places like Firozi in a palanquin (doli). Men, on the other hand, would travel by bicycle or on foot. There were no other easy modes of transportation.
In Firozi lived her grandparents, uncles, and aunts. Her grandmother and aunts where somewhat old-fashioned. Since Amma’s maternal side was fairly wealthy, so they were unnecessary irritated by them. Instead of giving love and kindness to Amma and her siblings, Amma had to endure petty and unnecessary talk. Amma use to feel sad constantly. Loosing her mother at a very early age led to her feeling very empty from inside always. She could not find her being relevant in the house. Amma had one sister. Her name was Kaneez Batool and her pet name was Kanju. Both sister had similar pain, so they use to share the pain with each other. But somehow it was very difficult to pass time. There was no real scope for study in home. Just small household chores and emptiness all around use to constantly bother her.
In that emptiness, Amma had the thought: why not devote this free time to the worship of Allah? So both she and her sister dedicated themselves to prayer. Engaging in worship brought them great peace and they could meaningful stay busy as well. This is because Allah grants serenity to hearts that turn to Him.
Then life showed her kindness. Amma’s marriage took place with Syed Sajjad Husain, the son of Syed Nisar Ahmad of Pali, in what was known as an "exchange marriage." This meant that a her elder brother Syed Zafirul Hasan was married to Nisar Ahmad Sahab’s daughter Salma Khatoon.
In her marital home, the situation was reversed. Her mother-in-law, Haidari Begum, was a very noble and straightforward woman who loved Amma dearly. Amma served her with all her heart, and in return, her mother-in-law showered her with blessings. They didn’t have a lot of money, but the household temperament was good.
In 1967, our grandmother (my paternal grandmother) passed away when they were living in Jehanabad. After her death, that home was closed, and grandfather came to live with us in Patna. At that time, we lived in Bhanwar Pokhar in Patna which was close to Sabzi Bagh. Grandfather was shattered by grandmother’s death. Once, when my father had to go out of town for some work, grandfather suffered a stroke. Amma almost lifted him onto her shoulders and immediately admitted him to the hospital, caring for him with all her might. There were no phones or easy ways to contact my father at that time, so we could not connect with my father. Two days later, when father returned, grandfather had largely recovered. The doctor said that because he received timely help, treatment was easier. Nurses and others at the hospital could not believe that my grandfather was her father-in-law, not her own father. They wondered how a daughter-in-law could do so much for her father-in-law.
There are so many events in ones life which are saved in one’s memory. My third-eldest brother, Shamshad Husain, is a doctor, and his wife is also a doctor. Both husband and wife worked in Saudi Arabia and they invited Amma to come there and help care for their young child. Both had to leave home for work, and although there was a full-time maid, someone trustworthy was still needed to oversee things.
My brother’s job was in Al-Baha, a city in Saudi Arabia not too far from Mecca. Amma never imagined that Allah had called her so close to His house so that she could perform an Umrah and Hajj. She never thought Allah would grant her such good fortune. We siblings wanted to that Amma should do Hajj, but Amma had a knee problem and everyone said that handling the crowds during Hajj would be too hard for her and there was high probability of risking injury.
Hearing about Hajj or Umra , Amma’s face lit up. She said that even if she died while performing Hajj, it would be a matter of happiness for her. But my brother chose not to take that risk, so instead, she performed Umrah in 2002. After performing Umrah and staying for a year, Amma returned to India.
Amma had done Umrah, but her heart still wished, “If only I could perform Hajj too, since Hajj is obligatory.” Yet because of her health, she stayed silent. Once again, fate intervened. My brother called her back again. Although he had no specific plan for her to do Hajj, when fate is kind, a way is made. My brother met some people who pledged to help Amma perform Hajj. Brother and sister-in-law were also there, supporting her. Eventually, Amma performed Hajj in 2003 which was nothing short of a miracle. We could hardly believe it.
There is a special point worth mentioning: during Umrah, Amma managed to reach and touch the “Hajr-e-Aswad” (the Black Stone in the Ka’ba), which is very difficult for most people because it’s so crowded. Somehow she not only touched it but also managed to put her hand and face against it. Allah helped her again at that moment. When she was near the Hajr-e-Aswad, at that moment, the cleaners arrived, and as the crowd dispersed slightly, giving opportunity to Amma placed to get very close to it. It was nothing short of a divine miracle.
Amma was also deeply devoted to the Jafar-E-Tayyar Salat. Nowadays, widespread knowledge and media access have made this Salat well-known, and many people believe that reciting it continuously for 40 days can fulfill their desires. Some scholars even consider it a “goldmine” of blessings.
Since my childhood, I have watched Amma offer this Salat every Friday at exactly 12:00 pm. When we lived in Bhagalpur, not many people were familiar with it, so Amma often invited neighboring ladies to join her in reciting the Salat together. After the Salat, she would host a lunch for everyone. No matter which city she lived in, she kept up this practice. People still remember her today for these acts of devotion and hospitality.
In the last days of her life, Amma stayed with me. Her face glowed with a heavenly light and simultaneously she had a childlike innocence. She stayed with me for about six month. I did whatever I could for her, but even now I feel that whatever I did was too little. No child can ever fully repay the debt owed to their parents.
Amma passed away about a year and a half after my father’s death, in May 2012. She was buried on Thursday. The first night in her grave was a Thursday night ( Shabe-Juma). It is written that those who are buried on Thursday or Friday does not suffer from the narrowness of and squeeze in the grave (Fishar-e-Qabr).
Amma was not just my mother—she was my teacher as well. She gave me Quranic lessons. Besides that, she was my best friend and a wonderful guide. When my heart was sad, I would rest my head in her lap, and she would place her compassionate hand on my head, giving me a strange comfort.
Today Amma is not among us, but I hold her cherished memories close. It feels as though wherever she is, with tears in her eyes and hands raised in prayer, she is asking Allah’s mercy and blessings for us. As a poet once said: “Ek Maa nahi hai to kitni kami hai, adhoori meri zindagi bandagi hai’
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